“Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.”
-Psalm 23:4
We focus on how rugged valleys can be. Maybe even dark at times. I’ve been in lots of valleys in this blended family life. In the thick of the trek, I have forgotten how close God has been behind me the entire way. I haven’t written in a while for lots of reasons; exhaustion, frustration, shame, and not wanting to jinx the good moments.
We made it through the holidays y’all. We made it through the birthday season in our household. We’ve had to restructure a lot here in our home. Parenting is hard. Parenting teens is hard. Parenting teen stepkids with so much trauma they struggle to recover from is unlike anything I’d ever experienced. There’s so much brokenness I was handed without even realizing without even realizing that the shards would cut me the most. God is the potter. We break the pots, don’t we? I strongly believe He took the pieces, wrapped them carefully; every speck of dust, every piece, and said, “I have another mission for you. I love these girls. I have collected them and brought them here. See to it that you take good care of them for when I return.”
I’ve not been perfect. I’ve failed many times. I’ve been hyper-focused on all the darkness. I’ve yelled. I’ve thrown my hands up. I’ve purchased a one-way plane ticket. That happened. And then I realized that we have some of the same broken pieces, or frustrations. Maybe we would be a team after all. Therapy has certainly helped. Boundaries have been life-changing for the better. I have to continue on this mission and raising these kids to know a healthy God, a healthy family, and healthy living. I’ve taken the broken shards out of their wrapping. Some pieces have been put back a couple times. God show me which pieces are next. Help me to place the pieces that are mine so you can reform them. I’m looking around in this valley, and I now see the richness here. Thank you God, for the growth.
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